ParentConfidante Blog

NYC PRIVATE SCHOOLS REJECTION BLUES

     Now that the NYC private school acceptance and rejection letters have been mailed out, some parents are thrilled and relieved and some are sorely disappointed.  While some children are basking in their parents’ approval, others no doubt feel that they have let their parents down.  Parents need to be aware that children are highly sensitive to their parents’ moods and are listening even when they don’t seem to be.
     It is important for parents to be especially loving, accepting and encouraging at this time and to be alert to any unusual signs of stress in their children.  If a child expresses any fears about their schools (don’t forget they’ve been coached, tested, interviewed) they should be reassured that they will go to a good school which they’ll love.
     And they probably will love the school they go to.  In addition, they may ultimately do even better academically than they would  in a more selective school.  There is a  body of research called the Big Fish Little Pond Effect which has shown that some children in very selective educational placements often have less academic self esteem and lower academic achievement than similar children in less competitive educational settings. In short, it’s better to be a Big Fish in a Small Pond than a Small Fish in a Big Pond.  
     Given the NYC private school scene, it's more important than ever to work with an educational consultant who can help you maximize the chances for acceptance into your desired school but who can also steer you towards other schools where your child can thrive.  This is especially true if there is any kind of learning or behavior issue which may be a red flag at some schools.  To get more information, contact toby@ParentConfidante School Success Consulting.

 

Does My Child Have A.D.D.?

A recent article highlights the importance of environmental factors when diagnosing and treating children with Attention Deficit Disorder (A.D.D.).  Dr. L. Alan Sroufe (NY Times, 1/29/12) wrote a comprehensive article on the overuse of drugs in the treatment of A.D.D. He takes issue with the assumption that there is a "brain deficit" in children who have attention difficulties and points out that the improvement in attention fades over time and that all people benefit from stimulant medication when focusing on more rote tasks.  His basic point, is that society is overlooking environmental influences in the rush to medicate.  For instance, emotional problems such as depression, turmoil at home, lack of social support, and ineffective parenting can produce behavior and attention problems  and these factors are not addressed in the rush to medication.

Many of Dr.Sroufe's observations were confirmed in my practice as a school psychologist.  I found ADHD becoming an increasingly frequent diagnosis with medication as the primary recommendation.  However, I  knew from working with the student that there were other, sometimes more pressing factors such as family distress or parenting disagreement.  It was much easier to go the path of medication than tangle with the difficult task of understanding the family dynamics and making changes.

That being said, there were many instances when medication was crucial and effective.  The child learned, felt better about himself because he wasn't constantly being redirected and gained socially as well.  Even if it's true that the effect of the medication fades after three years, three years is a long time, and the benefits could improve that child's life forever.

One reason I became an educational consultant and started ParentConfidante School Success Consulting is that many of the evaluations I read were incomplete and didn't consider all factors.  In my work, I refer parents to highly skilled professionals whose assessments are reliable and give a complete picture of the child and what would be helpful. An accurate diagnosis is crucial if the child is to make lasting progress. To help your child make the positive steps she deserves contact me at 646-300-1881.

 

 

 

 

 

Does Attending Stuyvesant Make A Difference?

Each year thousands of students anxiously wait to see if they have been accepted to selective public high schools in NYC and throughout the nation.  There has always been a debate about how much a difference attending such a school really makes.  Some people feel that attending a school of motivated, high functioning students is crucial.  Other people state that the high achievers who attend these schools would do well no matter where went and in fact have better odds of getting into an Ivy League College from a less competetive school.

 A recent study, “Exam High Schools and Academic Achievement:Evidence from New York City”, by Roland G. Fryer Jr. and Will Dobbie, seems to settle the controversy.  They found that there is essentially no stubstantial benefit in attending an exam school in either SAT scores or college enrollment.  However, there was one important exception: the borderline student benefited by taking higher level courses and graduating from high school with a more advanced diploma than they would in a mainstream school.

This is an important finding in that it highlights the importance of the school the bright, unmotivated student attends.  If that student is surrounded with students who are focused and highly motivated to succeed, it rubs off.  They are influenced by the higher expectations of their peers and work more to their potential.  In choosing a school for this student, the results of this study must be considered.  ParentConfidante School Success Consulting is expert at looking at the individual student and helping him apply and be accepted by the right school.