ParentConfidante Blog

TWICE EXCEPTIONAL SCHOOLS for NYC 2e children

  Two recent additions to the array of private schools in NYC focus on the twice exceptional child - that child who has excellent cognitive ability but also a learning disability, ADHD, or emotional or social difficulty which impacts their success - thus 2e.  The Quad Preschool opened it's doors in September, 2010 as did the Lang School (K-8).

The time is right for these schools to open as I think there is a real need.  In my work with children as a school psychologist, CPSE Chairperson and as a special needs educational consultant, I have seen many children who have been exceptionally bright but were hampered by social or learning problems.  They often had superior language skills but couldn't concentrate or listen in a group - one on one with an adult they were a delight.  It was often difficult to find the right school for these children, because in spite of their learning difficulties, they need high level language stimulation and an enriched curriculum - as well as the right educational, behavioral and emotional remediation and support.  Without that stimulation, there is increased danger of underachievement and a lack of motivation.

I'ts wonderful to have these "twice exceptional" schools as special needs private school options in NYC.

 

  Two recent additions to the array of private schools in NYC focus on the twice exceptional child - that child who has excellent cognitive ability but also a learning disability, ADHD, or emotional or social difficulty which impacts their success - thus 2e.  The Quad Preschool opened it's doors in September, 2010 as did the Lang School (K-8).

The time is right for these schools to open as I think there is a real need.  In my work with children as a school psychologist, CPSE Chairperson and as a special needs educational consultant, I have seen many children who have been exceptionally bright but were hampered by social or learning problems.  They often had superior language skills but couldn't concentrate or listen in a group - one on one with an adult they were a delight.  It was often difficult to find the right school for these children, because in spite of their learning difficulties, they need high level language stimulation and an enriched curriculum - as well as the right educational, behavioral and emotional remediation and support.  Without that stimulation, there is increased danger of underachievement and a lack of motivation.

I'ts wonderful to have these "twice exceptional" schools as special needs private school options in NYC.

  Two recent additions to the array of private schools in NYC focus on the twice exceptional child - that child who has excellent cognitive ability but also a learning disability, ADHD, or emotional or social difficulty which impacts their success - thus 2e.  The Quad Preschool opened it's doors in September, 2010 as did the Lang School (K-8).

The time is right for these schools to open as I think there is a real need.  In my work with children as a school psychologist, CPSE Chairperson and as a special needs educational consultant, I have seen many children who have been exceptionally bright but were hampered by social or learning problems.  They often had superior language skills but couldn't concentrate or listen in a group - one on one with an adult they were a delight.  It was often difficult to find the right school for these children, because in spite of their learning difficulties, they need high level language stimulation and an enriched curriculum - as well as the right educational, behavioral and emotional remediation and support.  Without that stimulation, there is increased danger of underachievement and a lack of motivation.

I'ts wonderful to have these "twice exceptional" schools as special needs private school options in NYC.

Manhattan Special Needs: Manhattan Needs More Special Needs High Schools like Churchill High School

I recently attended an open house at the Churchill School that was amazingly crowded with New York parents looking for an opening in a Manhattan Middle or High School.  Churchill School made it clear that there were very few spots available but that didn't keep the parents from asking very thoughtful, knowledgeable questions and appearing hopeful.  They were obviously hoping that their child would be the lucky one to get that opening in the 6th or 9th grade and hoping that more Manhattan parents would be transfered to San Francisco so another spot was available.  When asked where else their children were applying, some parents mentioned Winston Prep and  boarding schools for children with special needs (Landmark, Eagle Hill), but all bemoaned the dearth of High Schools in NYC for children who continue to need specialized instruction and organizational support.

It is surprising that there are so few secondary special needs schools in NYC.  I guess the hope is that most students will be able to thrive in mainstream schools if they get the help they need in the early grades.  However, the demands in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Riverdale, and Westchester high schools are intensive and children with learning disabilities often need continued support and accommodations.  Children with special needs have to work hard to compensate for their difficulties and they can be easily discouraged if the demands are overwhelming.   Although there are some non-special ed private schools that offer support programs, it may not be enough and it's no wonder that parents are concerned.

Recognizing the need, Aaron Academy and Mary McDowell Friends School have recently started high schools as an extension of their elementary schools.  These are welcome additions.  However, it seems that more is needed - what an entrepreneurial as well as educational opportunity!

For help in 2011-2012, toby@parentconfidante.com  or 646-300-1881 and hurry please as my schedule is filling quickly.

Help for NYC Siblings of Autistic Children (Unlike During Allen Shawn's Childhood)

In the New York Times Style Magazine (12/5/10), there is an excerpt from Allen Shawn’s upcoming memoir, “Twin”, in which he writes about the disappearance from his life at the age of 8 of his twin sister, Mary.  Allen, the son of William Shawn, the legendary New Yorker editor, describes how he felt when Mary, diagnosed as autistic, was sent to Sandpiper, a residential school for mentally disabled children.  Except for scripted letters and occasional visits, she vanished from the everyday life in Manhattan of Allen and his brother Wallace, leaving Allen disoriented, with a fierce fear of loss and a consuming focus on “truthfulness”.  As he puts it, Mary’s “departure from our life was like an unmourned death”.  The family rarely referred to her.

Mary is described as inner directed, but also connected to her siblings, showing affection and sometimes joining them in their games.  She could be erratic in her moods and not communicative verbally.  She is not described as explosive, out of control or a danger to herself or others and there’s no question that in our time, she would have stayed with the family.  What happened to Mary is reflective of how children with severe mental, developmental or emotional disabilities were treated in the 50’s and 60’s and her residential placement was no doubt recommended and supported by the professionals who were working with her.

Parents, often bewildered and surely guilty, felt that sending children with disabilities away was beneficial to them and the whole family and it seems that little notice was taken of the impact that such a banishment had on the other children in the family.  While it is probable that Mary’s life experience was narrowed and her potential curtailed, the impact on the other children was also profound.  Allen didn’t understand until he was an adult that his severe anxiety disorder was directly related to what happened to his sister.

There is currently much more of a realization of what should have been clear - that the normally developing siblings are impacted by the decisions made regarding the child with special needs.  Allen’s life experience would certainly have been different if his parents were able to talk about why they sent Mary away and maintain more contact with her.  However, in those days such openness would have been extraordinary.  More common then, and often now, is the shame and guilt that limits communication.

Today, there are programs available to help brothers and sisters of individuals with special learning, health, emotional of developmental needs.  One of the best known programs is Sibshops which provides a framework for siblings to meet with peers and share experiences, feelings and advice.  The meetings have a recreational aspect as well and are fun.  Many agencies sponsor Sibshops and availability should be checked on the internet. 

Perhaps if Sibshops were available for Allen, he would have been spared some of the emotional stress in his adult life.  But that wasn’t the style in those days (maybe that’s why this article was in the Styles section.)

I have lead Sibshops and know first hand how liberating and beneficial these groups can be for youngsters with special needs siblings.

In addition, numerous Manhattan, Brooklyn, New Jersey and Westchester families have hired me to meet privately with them to discuss how to help siblings of autistic children.  Luckily, today, we recognize the needs of all children in a family.

Coping with Dyslexia

I recently read an article about Dannel P. Malloy who is running for Governor of Connecticut.  Although Mr. Malloy graduated magna cum laudi from Boston College and from Boston College Law School, as a child he had trouble learning to read, do math and master basic skills such as tying his shoes.  As late as the fourth grade, his teachers thought he was retarded.  However, his mother knew better and she encouraged him to concentrate on what he could do well.  For instance, she knew Dannel had a good memory and gave him a radio so he could hone his oral listening skills.

It turned out, Mr. Malloy had a learning disability which thirty years ago wasn't as readily discerned as today.  Mr. Malloy eventually learned to read although to speed the process, he listened to books on tape until he was a sophomore in college.

I find Mr. Malloy's story interesting in many ways. He was so lucky.  First, his  remarkable mother listened to her intuition about her son and not what she was told.  She encouraged him to use the skills he had, while helping him overcome his weaknesses.  Too often, we as parents overlook our children's strengths because we're so concerned about the implications of their weaknesses.  In addition, he was lucky that he was in a mainstreamed learning situation where he could learn and be intellectually stimulated by listening.  Mr. Malloy also learned what it takes to be successful.  Learning disabled children have to work harder than anyone just to keep up.  But that hard work, determination and perseverance pay off.  It certainly has for Mr. Malloy.

We often tell children about famous people (e.g. Nelson Rockefelor, Tom Cruise) who also struggled with learning disabilities.  To that list we should add Mr. Malloy (and his mother).

In my special needs consulting in NYC, Westchester and New Jersey, I often hear parents say that their pediatrician told them not to be concerned about the delays they saw- that all children develop differently.  But, these parents listened to their intuition, had their children evaluated and had them receive early intervention special education services.  Early Intervention made all the difference - many of the children are now in regular classes doing well.

 

 

Should Parents Share Information regarding Special Education Services?

Parents of youngsters receiving special education services are often concerned about telling their child's prospective kindergarten teacher that their child has received services through Early Intervention or CPSE. Early intervention services did what it's supposed to do and their child is now ready to go into a regular class, but parents are uneasy about sharing the history of special needs. They fear that if the teacher knows that their child once needed additional help, their child will be stigmatized in some way and that the teacher will look for problems that aren't there.  This is especially true in the NYC where parents are knowledgeable and wary. 

In my experience this concern is unfounded if understandable.  Teachers are much more concerned with how a child is functioning now than what they needed in the past.  If the parents were proactive enough to get early intervention services, that's positive.  In addition, there might be some residual weakness that the teacher should know about so that teaching is more effective.  For instance, if there was a receptive language issue, the teacher would double check to see that the child understands the classroom directions. If auditory processing is slow, the child may need extra time to respond to a question. If OT was needed, the child might still benefit from a special pencil grip which could be put in place from the beginning of the year to limit frustration.

In short, when a child has or is still receiving some kind of services, it's a good idea to let the teacher know.  The teacher and child will only benefit from the sharing of this knowledge.